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The Dumbest Questions from Managers, CEOs, and Employees

May 26, 2000
Related Topics: Featured Article
For those of you who told us there was no such thing as a dumb question, consider the following evidence to the contrary:

Manager: "Why should I have to do performance evaluations for my direct reports when I see them every day?"

Terminated employee: "I know I totaled the company vehicle by rear-ending a car on the freeway going 70 miles an hour. And I know I tested positive for drugs after the incident and you terminated me, but what are the chances you ll rehire me into another position?"

Recruit: "So can you like fire anyone anytime because of that at-will thing?"

New employee: "Do I have to go to a bank to cash this paycheck?"

Supervisor: "Why can t I hire this candidate? His felonies are not job-related."

Employee: "If I hit a customer, will I be fired?"

CEO: "Can I fire her for being dumb?"

Recruit: "How come you never get tired of listening to so much bullshit?"

HR staff: "Can I order engraved plaques before I know who won the award?"

Applicant: "Do I get paid by check or cash? I prefer cash so the unemployment people don t find out that I m working!"

Applicant: "Who do I have to sleep with to get a job here?"

Government job applicant: "But don t you find that state employees are dumber than regular people?"

Applicant: "Can t you just give me the job, even though I m not qualified?"

New employee: After seeing "Press Any Key" on the computer screen, asks, "Where is the ‘any key?"

Applicant: Having failed the drug test, asks, "Can I take it again in a few days if I promise not to use any drugs after the next test?"

Employee: When asked about her work visa, asks, "Will my Mastercard do?"

Employee: "Does mandatory training mean everyone has to go?"

Employee: "When you tell me that my medical has been cancelled, what do you mean by that?"

Employee: "So why does my criminal conviction mean I can t continue working here?"

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