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Boss Behavior
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I had a former employee call me about the boss that took my place. She said that he is harassing her terribly & she is now out on mental stress leave because of it. She told me that he pulled her
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Forums » Topic Forums » Legal Forum » Boss Behavior
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/16/2010 10:25 AM EST
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Posts: 32
First: 11/16/2010 Last: 1/3/2011 |
Hi, "Janimal" -
Thanks very much for your comments. I wish it was all that simple: just me wanting to make money. My life is about understanding and helping people work through conflict. Although adversarial forms of conflict resolution (e.g., litigation) are sometimes needed, it's been my experience that non-adversarial dispute resolution is much more effective (and much less expensive) under most circumstances. As you well know, unmanaged conflict in the workplace can be extremely costly: reduced morale, reduced productivity, absenteeism. high turnover, reduced profitability, etc. What I hear employees saying through the Healthy Workplace legislation is that it is a problem when they feel they are being treated unfairly and/or abusively. Primarily, they feel they aren't being heard and that the matter only rises to the "problem level" when they are disciplined for missing work, making mistakes, etc. as a result of the mistreatment. Certainly, this is not true in all workplaces. However, I hear this enough to indicate to me that it's a significant issue. As a mediator, my job is to help people communicate their needs and interests - and, to help all the stakeholders involved in a dispute get their needs and interests met. This is not the goal of litigation. Litigation is about determining a winner and a loser and awarding money. However, from my experience in the legal field, no one wins. So, why would I be supporting a potential way to initiate litigation? My hope is that at the very least it will open up communication about an issue that is negatively impacting our workplaces in significant ways. Thanks again. Take care. Debra |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/16/2010 10:45 AM EST
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Posts: 210
First: 1/4/2003 Last: 7/11/2011 |
You said: "As a mediator, my job is to help people communicate their needs and interests - and, to help all the stakeholders involved in a dispute get their needs and interests met."
I don't think this is true at all. Mediators are not in the business of getting peoples' needs met. They are in the business of getting sides to compromise on their perceived needs and reach an agreement. The system is filled with bogus complaints of violations of current employment laws. Employers spend an unknown amount in nuisance settlements and legal fees to work on these claims. And, for those employees who truly have experienced illegal discrimination and have been truly wronged, it can take years for any relief or settlement. The system is deeply flawed. Do you really think legislation that would allow EVEN MORE claims to be filed, would benefit American business? No -- it benefits lawyers. And Mediators. And possible will create work for employee relations HR people. The system would get clogged even more, so those with legitimate claims would get to wait longer. Make no mistake, the legislation you speak of would increase litigation. But also I don't believe it really has any traction. What politician wants to make it harder for businesses to operate in their states? --- |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/16/2010 11:04 AM EST
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Posts: 32
First: 11/16/2010 Last: 1/3/2011 |
Hi again, "Janimal" -
I agree with your points. I don't think another law is the answer by any means. What do you think would be helpful? I'd love to hear your ideas on this. By the way, you might want to meet some new mediators. I genuinely work to meet everyone's needs and interests - if I don't, no one feels the process or outcome has been helpful. The fact that I don't generally mediate employment cases that are involved in litigation probably affords me more creative leeway. I prefer to work with people before things come to that point - before unnecessary money is spent and relationships are ruined. Whether you believe me or not, I really am out here working to help people - and, for me, it sure isn't about money in my pocket. If that was what my life was about...heck, I woulda gone to law school. (smile) Take care. Debra |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/16/2010 11:08 AM EST
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Posts: 1103
First: 3/16/2007 Last: 8/19/2011 |
Sometimes disputes in the workplace arise because a party is simply wrong. The only "needs" that they should have met is the need to conform. That doesn't take a mediator and frankly shouldn't even be a consideration.
There seems to be a growing trend that every time someones boss yells at them its a workplace conflict that also suggests the boss is a bully. That may occasionally be true but more often than not, in over 30 years of workplace experience, I have observed it is an under producing or non producing employee (that includes performance issues as well) Correcting that deficiency also does not require a mediator. It requires the employee to comply. If they can't comply there are alternatives for them that may not involve job security. |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/16/2010 11:22 AM EST
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Posts: 3
First: 2/5/2002 Last: 11/16/2010 |
This same type of incident happened where I once worked. The supervisor was verbally abusive and lashed out on a regular basis. The employee was accused of all types of things that were not based on fact. It was merely the supervisors assumptions that would make him lash out. The man was an attorney. His supervisor was fully aware of the behavior and choose to overlook the behavior.
After contacting an employment law attorney the employee was told that a supervisor can be as verbally abusive as they want. They can yell, curse and accuse unjustly, and send nasty emails and leave nasty notes (nasty does not mean dirty in this case). However, if those comments or behaviors cross the sexual harassment line then the employee could have filed a complaint. The employee resigned after two years of tolerating the constant verbal abuse and mental stress which led also to medical problems. The employee saved every nasty email and note the supervisor ever sent or left on the employees desk. In this case the employee was granted unemployment due to the factual data collected over the two year period. The DOL claims administrator was shocked. The abuse happened to others in the organization as well. The employee sat down with the supervisor and very nicely explained how the yelling, cursing and door slamming was effecting him. He asked the supervisor to please stop speaking to her in that way. They asked for the swearing and door slamming to stop. The supervisor told the employee that he liked the way he was and was not planning to change for anyone. The employee was told they were being insubordinate for asking for a behavior change from her boss. The entire incident was one that I had never before witnessed in the 20 years of working in HR. When will the laws catch up with these workplace bullies? |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/16/2010 11:25 AM EST
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Posts: 32
First: 11/16/2010 Last: 1/3/2011 |
Hi, HRPro -
You are definitely correct. An important part of what I do as a conflict consultant is to assess whether "bullying" is actually an issue. If it is, I would NOT likely recommend mediation as the first intervention. I might instead refer you to an executive conflict coach, for example. If the situation involves allegations of bullying that do NOT actually rise to that level of conduct, mediation may be an effective first step. Bottom line - litigation should be viewed as a last resort. The advantage I have as an external third party is that often I can provide a needed "reality check" in a way that wouldn't be heard if it comes from someone involved internally (termed reactive devaluation). Thanks for keeping this conversation going. I'm so much appreciating everyone's thoughts on all of this. Debra |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/16/2010 11:43 AM EST
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Posts: 32
First: 11/16/2010 Last: 1/3/2011 |
Hi, Jacobson -
I can't tell you how many times I've heard similar stories. . .to the point of employees committing suicide. Avoiding/ignoring these kinds of situations just doesn't work. There have been numerous studies on the overall cost of this kind of behavior to both the employer and employee. I know there's a solution. Sorry if I come across as overly optimistic - it comes as a result of my experience witnessing people actually work things out. Thanks. Debra |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/18/2010 8:59 AM EST
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Posts: 210
First: 1/4/2003 Last: 7/11/2011 |
Debra,
You appear to be sincere. Perhaps the disconnect here is the meaning of the word "mediator". A mediation is a dispute resolution. It's not a situation to provide people with what they need and want, it's to end a conflict. If I am involved in a dispute with a mediator, it means to me I am NOT going to get my way! If each party will not let go of their desires, a mediation won't work. What would help? A better economy. More jobs. People wouldn't be stuck working for bullying jerks if they could leave and find other employment. As things are, right now, a job with a jerk beats the unemployment line. If jerky behavior and bullying affect recruitment and ultimately, the bottom line, THAT is what I believe will make a difference. |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/18/2010 9:54 AM EST
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Posts: 464
First: 6/30/2004 Last: 11/22/2010 |
I have trained my staff (and myself) to not discipline for those interpretive and opinion based ideas such as attitude. I require a more specific description of the types of behavior that go into making a "bad attitude" assessment.
In this case, if I were the employee being accused of a bad attitude, I think a proper response asking for a clarification and an example or two are in order. When I hear the bad attitude comments coming from anyone, I sit down with them and ask what they mean by that comment and try to get to the source or the situation that gives rise to the assessment. Usually there is a better way to hone in on the problem(s) and then address required or suggested corrective behavior. I look at this as a development opportunity for the supervisor, employee or both. And yes, a boss can be an a-hole, which is not, in and of itself, illegal. |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/18/2010 10:31 AM EST
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Posts: 544
First: 9/27/2004 Last: 9/13/2011 |
The reality is that workplace incivility can have lasting negative physical and psychological effects on people along with poisoning the productivity environment or, in the worse cases, it can escalate to violence.
It's unfortunate that people think legislation will help; all it will do is create another layer or muck. Damages will be impossible to prove and it will be a colossal waste of everyone's time and it will encourage retaliation over problem solving which is where we should be focused. Organizations need to do a better job of helping the bossesâ boss understand how costly this behavior really is. It should be discouraged and employees should have some kind of support mechanism in place. |
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