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Boss Behavior
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Boss Behavior
Discuss employment-law issues such as family leave, overtime, disabilities law, harassment, immigration and termination.
I had a former employee call me about the boss that took my place. She said that he is harassing her terribly & she is now out on mental stress leave because of it. She told me that he pulled her
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Forums » Topic Forums » Legal Forum » Boss Behavior
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/19/2010 8:31 AM EST
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Posts: 6
First: 11/18/2010 Last: 11/24/2010 |
HRPro,
I can see youâve made some assumptions about me and my motivations for posting. First, I am not soliciting anything, simply offering the person who is being bullied some free assistance and information, so that they can improve their own situation. Iâm not selling you anything. Bullying doesnât just occur when a boss is driven by performance â bullying is often manipulative and beyond acceptable behavior in the workplace. Itâs one thing to work with someone on their performance, itâs quite another to manipulate them. Some examples of bullying behavior include: ⢠Purposefully withholding information co-workers need to do their jobs well, including excluding peers from memos, meetings and other types of information or functions ⢠Removing responsibilities or important job tasks in order to threaten job security or humiliate targets ⢠Ordering others to do work below their level of competence in order to humiliate them or hurt their production ⢠Ordering others to do work above their level of competence to be sure they cannot complete the task and will appear incompetent ⢠Assigning work that is impossible to do, whether by making it too difficult, purposefully not providing accurate or complete instructions, or giving impossible deadlines ⢠Uber-excessive and unnecessary micromanagement Bullying is legal in the US â whether you agree with that statement or not doesnât make it any less true. Me pointing that fact out does not assert that my focus is to exploit conflict for my own profit. And in fact, despite what you say about me, I do indeed teach people to manage conflict. The focus of my business is to help an organization build a positive and respectful culture where employees can thrive, whether they have bullying or not. I do this because it not only helps targets, not victims, and because it also helps an organization increase their bottom line. Ultimately, HRPro, whether you think so or not, bullying is alive and real in the workplace. And it certainly is NOT conflict as you have so asserted. Bullying is psychological abuse, and it causes problems as severe as PTSD in up to 70% of cases. Again, whether you think so or not, I state the facts, based on over 25 years of research from universities around the world and their thousands of articles published in peer reviewed journals. |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/19/2010 8:45 AM EST
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Posts: 32
First: 11/16/2010 Last: 1/3/2011 |
Hi, rrupert -
The problem with broad-brush statements is that they will be perceived by those who disagree as one-sided and biased. Once that happens, communication becomes difficult, if not impossible. Previously I stated that suspending judgment is critical. People know if someone already has his/her mind made up about something. Once that takes place, everything that follows will be suspect. In my experience, this is what leads to useless, expensive litigation. Whether or not your assessment regarding the legitimacy or prevalance of workplace bullying is accurate is really not the issue. I feel the issue is ultimately about communicating in ways that we can move forward - whether that be communicating a boss's reasonable expectations or an employee's sense of being disrespected. I appreciate skepticism about my thoughts here. When you have a stake in the outcome of any dispute, as HR professionals often do (whether directly or indirectly), and are also attempting to resolve that dispute, you're working within the eye of the storm. It's sort of like a surgeon attempting to perform surgery on him/herself - a difficult undertaking! Thank you for adding your experience and thoughts to this conversation. Take care. Debra |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/19/2010 9:14 AM EST
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Posts: 1103
First: 3/16/2007 Last: 8/19/2011 |
I do not disagree that bullying exists and I haven't made any assumptions about anyone. Those who fabricate instances of bullying, when in reality it is nothing more than poor performance on the part of the employee with subsequent corrective action, are the exception. What better way than to create a nonexistent problem (couched as a need) and then provide a service that allegedly resolves the problem, than to say "bullying is happening here.".
We can disagree forever that bullying is legal; it isn't. It is properly called unlawful harassment, assault, slander, libel, stalking, etc. with any other definition being one of those fabrications or embellishments some of us spoke about. "My boss raised their voice to me and said I was a poor performer" is no more bullying that "My boss said if I didn't improve they would fire me." Some would have us see those differently; regardless, they are not bullying statements no matter the volume in which they were delivered. I find that those who embellish situations and then exploit them do more harm to the workplace than those who they label as being transgressors. Plaintiff's counsels sometimes do this. That bluntness may or may not be of concern to you. However, I have seen too many organizations in my career fed a line of "snake oil" by great problem solvers that I see them for what they are. Does that mean that sometimes the services of people who claim to help companies resolve their conflict problems don't provide a meaningful service? No it does not, it simply means that in many instances some of them are great salespeople who could probably sell refrigerators to residents in the arctic circle. As an HR professional for many years I have championed a variety of workplace conflict management initiatives because conflict is healthy. I knew the culture and personality of the organization. We did not need someone who sees a bully behind many desks creating issues that did not exist. You may well be one of the legitimate conflict management professionals who deal with legitimate issues. I don't know you. Hopefully you are. |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/19/2010 9:19 AM EST
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Posts: 2146
First: 2/15/2006 Last: 9/14/2011 |
"⢠Purposefully withholding information co-workers need to do their jobs well, including excluding peers from memos, meetings and other types of information or functions
⢠Removing responsibilities or important job tasks in order to threaten job security or humiliate targets ⢠Ordering others to do work below their level of competence in order to humiliate them or hurt their production ⢠Ordering others to do work above their level of competence to be sure they cannot complete the task and will appear incompetent ⢠Assigning work that is impossible to do, whether by making it too difficult, purposefully not providing accurate or complete instructions, or giving impossible deadlines ⢠Uber-excessive and unnecessary micromanagement " A lot of these are VERY subjective...with words like "purposefully" and "unnecessary" and "impossible" and "too difficult" and "in order to.." In their very own way, they are assigning motives to the boss that may or may not be reality. They might just be perceived as or being used as an excuse by the employee. Or it might just be that the boss or another employee WAS able to get the project done in that time period with that information or the boss needs it that quickly and work must be done quickly or extra hours must be put in. Or the boss just needs someone to do something "below" them. Maybe the boss lowered responsibility because the employee showed a lack of follow through or trust. Maybe they are asked to do work below their level because someone has to do it. No one wants to be the one cleaning the kitchen but it has to be done. It isn't always about humiliation. I guess I am lucky in that all those at my company will do ANYTHING top to bottom as needed without complaint. I just look at that list and see excuses as to why an employee can't do what is being asked of them. Maybe I have been lucky, but I have yet to see a boss sabotage an employee ON PURPOSE! Yes, they may have too high of expectations, but even for the 1 person that I stated earlier that I thought fell into the category, her admins knew the high expectations when they took the job. They knew she was difficult. And this was back when the economy was in a heyday and they could find a job easily somewhere else. I think often times there are many other possibilities to why the situation is what it is rather than "bosses bullying". |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/19/2010 9:24 AM EST
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Posts: 210
First: 1/4/2003 Last: 7/11/2011 |
catmattice - you lack credibility here. For a few reasons - one: your very first post was directing people to YOUR website. two: you're throwing our statistics that have no real meaning. So if you want to be taken taken seriously as part of a meaningful dialogue about the american workplace, pleae don't promote yourself and services, and please stick to facts.
Debra, I disagree that an HR person trying to fix an internal problem is anything like a surgeon trying to work on themselves! That's silly! I would say that I am entirely more qualified to work in resolving disputes in my workplace than you are -- and that's not knowing you at all. I have experience and knowledge of our organization, culture, and industry that absolutely effect how to deal with employee relations issues. Stuff that you just don't know. We don't need a therapist to help us talk to employees. We need to manage our human capital in an ethical manner to support our company's health. Having an "outsider" come in to look at all sides try to get everyone's needs met is not what we need. For our business to succeed and continue to provide for all the families that depend on the jobs we provide, we have to look out for the best interest of the business FIRST. You come across as an intelligent person - but honestly you also sound more like a therapist than a mediator. I don't want to hold hands and sing Kum Bay Yah with employees. I want them to work and be productive. This makes me think of a problem I tend to see with rookie HR people. They can sometimes see themselves as advocates for the employees rather than as advocates for the business. I don't want our bosses to be bullies. I also don't want to open our doors up to communication facilitators to waste my time talking to poorly performing employees. Because make no mistake, the employees who want someone to help them communicate, are the ones who's poor performance makes their communications suspect. |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/19/2010 9:30 AM EST
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Posts: 32
First: 11/16/2010 Last: 1/3/2011 |
Hi, HRPro -
Thanks so much for pointing out that conflict is a healthy component in any organization! Conflict is inherently neutral. It is simply the time and space where differences meet: different ideas, different values, different identities, etc. Whether conflict becomes constructive or destructive depends entirely on how we approach it. Constructive conflict provides the opportunity for creativity and the collaboration of ideas. Sorry for my endless posts here...I promise I will stop - eventually. (smile) Understanding and helping people work effectively with conflict is my passion. Prior to earning my masters in dispute resolution/conflict management, I was volunteering at my community dispute resolution center. I continue to volunteer there in addition to volunteering as a employment mediator in cases involved local, state and federal agencies. I also do a fair amount of private pro bono work. Thanks to everyone who has posted so far. Debra |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/19/2010 9:58 AM EST
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Posts: 32
First: 11/16/2010 Last: 1/3/2011 |
Hi, janimal -
You definitely know more about your organization than I would! Yes, you are far more qualified than I am to "fix an internal problem" within your organization. And, I am not a therapist by any stretch of the imagination! I get the impression you believe my words amount to "touchy-feely." There's a big difference between feel-good/ touchy-feely and empathy, understanding, and acknowledging differences. Acknowledging differences doesn't equate to compromise or giving in. It does, however, open doors to people with different ideas, etc. working together in healthier ways. What I'm talking about is not necessarily "fixing an internal problem." I'm speaking to what is often delicate interpersonal conflict. Undertandably, you need to focus on productivity. My role is to help everyone get back to business in ways that can improve situations rather than negatively impact the organization's culture - which, of course, impacts profitability. While I have many years of experience, education and training in the area of employment law and conflict management, I would never consider myself to be an expert - in anything. I consider forums like this opportunities to learn. Thanks very much. Debra |
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Boss Behavior
posted at 11/19/2010 10:12 AM EST
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Posts: 32
First: 11/16/2010 Last: 1/3/2011 |
Sorry - forgot to address something in my previous post to rrupert.
You state that my comparing an HR professional working to "fix an internal problem" to a surgeon performing self-surgery is silly. I can appreciate that. My experience, however, has indicated otherwise. When employees/employers are involved in difficult, interpersonal disputes, no matter how impartial the HR professional actually is, that may not be the perception. This is a human thing. I can't tell you how many times I've had an HR person suggest something and have it shot down simply because the person is HR. It has nothing to do with the professional ability of the HR person. I can then make the same suggestion (maybe worded a little differently, a little different timing) and it will be accepted as a wonderful idea. It's amazing to see this when it's happening in the moment. It's precisely what I don't know at times that makes this possible. I don't know if this makes sense. I realize it may sound counter-intuitive. Take care. Debra |
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