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Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
Benefits & Compensation
Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
Exchange ideas about health plans, retirement, work/life benefits, and employee assistance.
Our Bereavement policy is states leave for PArent in law. an employee is asking for leave for Step Father in law. My HR Manager would like to deny this. I think if the step father inlaw was a primary
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Forums » Topic Forums » Benefits & Compensation » Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
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Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
posted at 3/8/2012 1:03 PM EST
on Workforce Management
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Posts: 35
First: 11/7/2011 Last: 10/30/2012 |
In Response to Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law: Although there's a lot of merit to HRPro's comments, I'm not sure I agree with the position. Let's say that the mother in law has had three husbands. The first husband was the parent of the spouse. Clearly that should qualify for bereavement leave. The second husband spent a number of years as the actual live-in parent for the spouse, but after the spouse left the home the second husband and the mother divorced. Technically, this husband is no longer the step-parent-in-law. The third husband is, for want of a better term, the current parent-in-law. Would both parents in law qualify for bereavement leave? The current one? The one who actually helped raise the spouse (eg, the second one)? The first stepfather isn't technically a step father in law any longer, but there was probably was an emotional attachment here for the spouse. The second step father in law is that in name only, but the mother of the spouse probably could use emotional support from family. I'm in agreement that either a clear-cut policy be established and adhered to or, as I believe has been noted above, no bereavement leave is specified and it only comes out of PTO. Given all the potential family permutations and complex relationships, if a policy is established I think it needs to be a rather simple one with clear definitions of what relatives qualify. An "Immediate family members" limitation seems to be rather common. But I think I like the PTO option best. Posted by nork4 I believe that to qualify as a step-parent, the person has to formally and legally adopt the children of his/her new spouse. In the case of the woman with three husbands, I doubt all three took this step (no pun intended) with her children. It's 'way more likely that kids will be formally and legally adopted no more than once in their lifetimes, and whoever it is that does that is their official step-parent...and in my view qualifies fully as a parent in all things including participating in the definition section of his/her step-children's employers' bereavement leave policies. |
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Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
posted at 3/8/2012 1:55 PM EST
on Workforce Management
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Posts: 149
First: 9/29/2011 Last: 12/13/2012 |
Good point, but a couple of observations. |
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Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
posted at 3/8/2012 6:05 PM EST
on Workforce Management
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Posts: 32
First: 10/25/2011 Last: 8/27/2012 |
In Response to Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law: ... Let's say that the mother in law has had three husbands. The first husband was the parent of the spouse. Clearly that should qualify for bereavement leave. The second husband spent a number of years as the actual live-in parent for the spouse, but after the spouse left the home the second husband and the mother divorced. Technically, this husband is no longer the step-parent-in-law. The third husband is, for want of a better term, the current parent-in-law. ... Posted by nork4 Nork, I understand where you are going but I think this example lends itself more to a moral judgment which is not HR's role. |
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Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
posted at 3/9/2012 7:46 AM EST
on Workforce Management
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Posts: 127
First: 9/21/2011 Last: 11/12/2012 |
In Response to Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law : I believe that to qualify as a step-parent, the person has to formally and legally adopt the children of his/her new spouse. I've never heard this as a qualification. Do you mean under your company's bereavement policy? It could be company policy to define a step parent that way but I haven't seen that in the laws that I have researched. Even under FMLA, a parent is defined broadly and covers step parents outside of adoptive parents. I was just checking that and think it is interesting that FMLA does cover step parents, but not in-laws. Directly from the DOL: "FMLA definition of "parent" For FMLA leave purposes, "parent" is defined broadly as a biological, adoptive, step, or foster parent, or an individual who stood in loco parentis to an employee when the employee was a child. See 29 C.F.R. § 825.122(b). An employee’s parents-in-law are not included in the definition of "parent" for purposes of FMLA leave. The FMLA military leave provisions have a specific definition of parent for purposes of servicemember caregiver leave. See 29 C.F.R. § 825.122(i). " http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs28C.pdf |
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Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
posted at 3/9/2012 9:32 AM EST
on Workforce Management
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Posts: 149
First: 9/29/2011 Last: 12/13/2012 |
HRPro: Exactly my point (at least, that was what I was trying to point out). You either have a very clear-cut policy for what constitutes a family member for bereavement leave or you get caught up in all these interpretative situational moral judgement cases. And because of all the hair splitting types of potential definitions (ex, what constitutes a step parent in law), perhaps its best not to even have a bereavement policy at all. |
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Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
posted at 3/13/2012 11:28 AM EDT
on Workforce Management
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Posts: 1
First: 3/13/2012 Last: 3/13/2012 |
I tend to opt for the dangerous grey area....Years ago, when I was a union representative, I came across a tragic circumstance that created bad feelings all around. An employee's spouse had recently died, after a nasty bout of cancer. Her parents were very helpful during the period. Regretably, several months ago the spouse's death, one of her parents died. The contract language provided for eligibility for three days of bereavement for the parents of the current spouse. The employer concluded, to their dismay, that since the employee no longer had a current spouse, the death of the parent in-law was not eligible for bereavement pay. They offered the employee, on a non-precedent setting basis, one day of paid leave and excused absence for an additional two days. The employee was offended and insisted on three days paid leave and filed a grievance. Neither side was happy. The employer felt their efforts to go beyond the limits of the contract were not valued, the employee felt the employer was using a technicality to deny him what he felt he was entitled to. Unfortunately, the climate between the union and the company prevented both sides from accepting a "one time" exception to the language of the contract. While I later withdrew the grievance, the damage was done.
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Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
posted at 3/13/2012 12:29 PM EDT
on Workforce Management
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Posts: 8
First: 10/13/2011 Last: 6/19/2012 |
In Response to Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law: If your bereavement policy treats step-parents the same as parents, it should treat step-parents-in-law the same as parents-in-law. |
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Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
posted at 3/16/2012 11:51 AM EDT
on Workforce Management
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Posts: 1
First: 3/16/2012 Last: 3/16/2012 |
What will the cost to the business be if the definition of 'family member' which allows an employee bereavement time (paid or unpaid) is expanded? The intangible, as prior posters have noted, many times will outweigh the fiscal cost. The goodwill return on treating employees as adults and allowing them to manage their own time to handle these types of situations is hard to value. Will there be abusers? Probably (these folks may have other issues that will ultimately catch up with them). But I believe the majority of employees will value the flexibility, make better decisions and help you build a culture of accountability in the long run. |
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Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
posted at 3/16/2012 12:17 PM EDT
on Workforce Management
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Posts: 127
First: 9/21/2011 Last: 11/12/2012 |
In Response to Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law: What will the cost to the business be if the definition of 'family member' which allows an employee bereavement time (paid or unpaid) is expanded? The intangible, as prior posters have noted, many times will outweigh the fiscal cost. The goodwill return on treating employees as adults and allowing them to manage their own time to handle these types of situations is hard to value. Will there be abusers? Probably (these folks may have other issues that will ultimately catch up with them). But I believe the majority of employees will value the flexibility, make better decisions and help you build a culture of accountability in the long run. Posted by smiller619 I would suggest that the conversation is not so much about timeoff but whether the employee should be paid for that timeoff outside of a regular PTO plan. I know of very few places, none actually, that refuse unpaid bereavement timeoff for any relative, inlaw or step. Some limit the total amount given though. Maybe I am just too cynical, but I have found it more to be that the majority of employees will work the system as much as possible to their advantage if they know they will be paid for that time, as they believe that employers work the laws/system to their benefit. I hear it all the time on forums where employees post employment questions. (much like WC companies suggest that an employer bring back an employee on light duty rather than have them off on paid leave because otherwise there is a lack of incentive to return) I am not seeing any intangible value or loyalty coming back towards the employers these days for being generous on company policies. Instead more is expected (i.e. give an inch and they take a mile) to be given. You move the bar and include step-inlaws and then someone else requests something just a little bit further out of the relatioship circle. You have to place a boundary somewhere! We had one employee, who was religious and went to a very large church. She was in the Seniors group although she was on the young end of the age spectrum of that group. She felt it was her religious duty to attend EVERY single funeral for anyone in that group or any relative of someone in that group, regardless of how much time she missed from work. We finally had to start saying NO, you can't miss work for this. When her own spouse died, we granted paid bereavement leave and had NO issue with doing so. But part of that may be what industries/professional level your employees and business are and how much turnover is typical. I think employee culture for many companies is changing and many on both sides see very little loyalty. Especially with more businesses doing pay decreases, hours decreases and layoffs. And there will always be other things that are more important to the employee (a promotion, a pay increase, a spouse takinga job in a different city, a different schedule, more hours, a better boss, etc). Myself, I tend to loyal. My husband, who is a great employee at medium exec level, not so much -- he has left a good corporate culture because the job he was in was a dead-end. There were no advancement opportunities. To him, that was more important than something like culture and bereavement leave. |
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Re: Bereavement Leave for Step Parent in Law
posted at 3/19/2012 2:17 PM EDT
on Workforce Management
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Posts: 13
First: 10/24/2011 Last: 8/22/2012 |
rrupert - did you read the 9th annual Study of Employee Benefit Trends by MetLife? It goes over employee loyalty in pretty good depth. The gist of one part of the study was that employees that were happy with their benefits had a stronger sense of loyalty to their employer. I think Met was defining benefits as insurance, retirement, etc., but I don't think it's a stretch to include PTO in that definition. I can see both sides of the equation in this scenario. |
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