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Workplace conflict
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Workplace conflict
Discuss workforce management, performance management, retention, communication, motivation, contributing to business results and other topics.
Are you a Goldilocks at work? Do you want everything to be just right but soon realize you work with some bully bears? It's not always so easy to pick up and leave work to live happily every after.
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Forums » Topic Forums » General Forum » Workplace conflict
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Workplace conflict
posted at 5/11/2010 9:06 AM EDT
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Posts: 2
First: 5/11/2010 Last: 5/18/2010 |
Are you a Goldilocks at work? Do you want everything to be just right but soon realize you work with some bully bears? It's not always so easy to pick up and leave work to live happily every after.
Whether it's a domineering co-worker or a manager/boss, Goldilocks often feels she doesn't stand a chance against these bears. Often shy and/or introverted, Goldilocks feels persecuted, taken advantage of, fearful and alone. She may have a few work friends in whom she confides, but their sympathetic ears don't change much when she's faced with the bully's daily abuse. Goldie tells herself: • If I defend myself, it only gets worse • If I tell the manager, he brushes me off as “that's just the way Bob is.†• If I report it to HR, I may get fired because I know she's friends with my co-worker bully. • I don't know how to defend myself, so I feel like a speed bump that the bully can run over any time he/she feels like it. • I'm a minority here (race, age, gender, sexual preference, etc.), so nothing is going to change. Bullies are insecure, and they mask their weakness with a gruff exterior. Targets of bullies can do the same thing: mask their insecurities and shy manner with and air of confidence, firmness and assertiveness. Sound easy? No. It takes practice, but practice a few steps at a time. Here are a few examples: • Be decisive when asked your opinion, e.g., “Where should we go for lunch?†Say, “Let's go to (name a place).†• Buy time when put on the spot. Rather than caving in grudgingly to join a committee or work on a project in which you have no interest, say, “I'm going to think about it overnight and get back to you in the morning.†• Hang it up. When being verbally abused on the phone (or in person), say, “I don't let people talk to me this way. I'm hanging up now.†Then do it. Bullies become bullies because they are not used to others standing up to them. Above are three of dozens and dozens of behavioral tips that can change not only what others think of you, but how you perceive yourself. Unlike Goldilocks, you don't always have to run away for things to be just right. for more tips on overcoming workplace conflict, visit ncsmediation.com |
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Workplace conflict
posted at 5/11/2010 9:39 AM EDT
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Posts: 2146
First: 2/15/2006 Last: 9/14/2011 |
Don't worry Dave...I'm not getting it either. As a matter of fact, I would have considered Goldilocks to BE the bully in the situation as she took over someone else's home, food, beds, etc. Without care for the bears.
Amazing how different perspectives of the SAME situation can be! Depending on who wants to use it to their advantage. |
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Workplace conflict
posted at 5/11/2010 10:29 AM EDT
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Posts: 562
First: 11/12/2009 Last: 9/14/2011 |
The bears were indeed the wronged party! They're the ones who were subjected to breaking and entering and theft!
PattiB, these forums are not to be used for promoting products or services which it appears you're doing. To simply plunge in here with unsolicited advice and then post a link to a website is bullying behavior even if your Goldilocks analogy is incomprehensible. Feel free to add to discussions or ask questions. But don't promote products, services, websites, etc. |
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Workplace conflict
posted at 5/11/2010 1:48 PM EDT
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Posts: 410
First: 1/26/2006 Last: 11/15/2010 |
Thanx............I too thought she broke in and abused the house and then ran home never to return....didn't sound like happily ever after to me. Except for the bears, who probably installed an alarm system. |
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Workplace conflict
posted at 5/12/2010 9:31 AM EDT
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Posts: 544
First: 9/27/2004 Last: 9/13/2011 |
We have been assulted twice, once by the drive-by advertisment and again by the lame analogy.
Make that three times. I hate when people try to use fairy tales and cartoons to educate adults. It's insulting. |
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