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Latest Resume Blunder
Life in Workforce Management
Latest Resume Blunder
Share your stories of workforce-management success in contributing to your business' bottom line, as well as your tales of business bloopers and blunders.
I got a resume today that indicated, "I am a work-alcoholic that is committed to do a thorough job."
Think he meant work-a-holic?!!
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Forums » Topic Forums » Life in Workforce Management » Latest Resume Blunder
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Latest Resume Blunder
posted at 10/18/2005 6:20 AM EDT
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Posts: 4
First: 1/20/2005 Last: 10/25/2005 |
That's funny!!! I am not sure what the writer of the resume meant. But it's a great feeling being intoxicated by what you do for a living. You surely don't have the smell of alcohol on your breath, but you have the right attitude. I think, the resume writer deserves a chance. Don't you? |
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Latest Resume Blunder
posted at 4/24/2007 1:08 PM EDT
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Posts: 25
First: 8/17/2005 Last: 5/9/2011 |
My favorite was the candidate applying for a HR Admin position. After her brief employment history, mostly consisting of retail and basic customer service jobs, she noted that while she was in college, she had an epiphany that she wanted to work in HR. Needless to say, she did not have the qualificaitons and was not interviewed! |
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Latest Resume Blunder
posted at 10/16/2007 9:33 AM EDT
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Posts: 13
First: 9/28/2004 Last: 12/4/2007 |
Think that this one has been around for a while but funny just the same.
This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! NAME: Greg Bulmash. SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person. DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION: Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. SALARY: Less than I'm worth. MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what? DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?" HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes. DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now. DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely. SIGN HERE: Aries. |
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Latest Resume Blunder
posted at 10/29/2007 9:46 AM EDT
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Posts: 28
First: 10/26/2007 Last: 12/6/2007 |
This is the best resume that I ever found.
Skip "Pony Boy" Wilson 30 3rd St. Las Vegas, NV 89012 (I do not believe in phones.) Objectives: To be a recruitment person at a large yet growing company, store or place with employees. Professional Management Style: I have almost been a manager four times, so I have thought a lot about how I would manage people who I got to work for me. I would like to be their friend. Their best friend. I would like to engage them on a professional level and possibly go to their houses. I will not be overbearing or rude. Rudeness is not good. About Me: I love people, despite my time as a hostage in 1992. I have always found people are very helpful. In 1995 I lost my leg in a tragic, but completely my fault, bass fishing accident. Each morning two boy scouts come to my house to help me make breakfast. They are very good boys and do a lot of good for me and my dog. In 1998 I had a private police matter, but all charges were dropped and after 21 days I was allowed back in my apartment. Despite those incidents and more, I love people. Work History: 04/91 - 06/92 Recruiter Big Al's Bar and Motel - Bismarck, SD I recruited for wait staff, hotel people and free drunk bus drivers. 06/92 - 11/92 Hostage 12/92 - 3/93 Recruiter Rambling Todd's Truck Stop and Drug Store - Little Rock, AK. I was the lead recruitment person for all positions except management. 4/93 - 5/93 Farm Hand Lazy Acres Bar - Jackson, Miss 6/93 - 10/93 Unemployed I rode the rails of this great country. Saw lots of good people. Decent people. Humble people. It was a life changing experience. 01/94 - 02/95 Horse Inseminator/Recruiter Long Days Farm - Casper, Wyoming I worked as a farm assistant helping with the insemination of horses and recruited farm hands, inseminators, and a cook. 02/95 - 09/95 - Medical problem (loss of left leg) 09/95 - 12/97 Recruiter IBM Headquarters, - Armonk, NY Recruited everyone from shipping to high level technical and managerial people. (cannot use as a reference) 01/98 - 2/98 - In custody at Lake George New York town jail. Thought it was best to leave NY. 3/98 - 08/01 - Senior Recruiter Northrop Grumman - Los Angeles, CA Recruited all peoples in the Human Resources, Accounting, and Sales rooms. 09/01 - 9/04 Voluntarily Unemployed. 11/04 - 4/05 Motivational Speaker All over the country My job ended when I could not get anyone to sign up for my seminar, "Be Your Own God." 05/05 - 7/06 Clerk 7-11 - Las Vegas, NV Left after being assaulted for putting too much cheese on the nachos. 10/06 - Present Life Recruiter Self-Employed Las Vegas, NV I recruit all the people I let into my life. I am my own gatekeeper. |
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Latest Resume Blunder
posted at 1/9/2008 5:47 AM EST
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Posts: 1
First: 1/9/2008 Last: 1/9/2008 |
How about the e-mail addresses that you find on resumes? I have compiled a small list of my favorites" which include:
sweet'n'sexy@---.com veryhairy1@---.com bigbadmama@---.com luv_knockers@---.com feelme_feelyou@---.com azzkicker@---.com OGKilla@---.com lusciouslips4you@---.com |
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