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Bullying in the Workplace
Life in Workforce Management
Bullying in the Workplace
Share your stories of workforce-management success in contributing to your business' bottom line, as well as your tales of business bloopers and blunders.
I am wondering if this is a topic that is becoming more prevalent in the workforce today.
If so, is there an interest in people attending workshops on recognizing bullying and strategies to help the
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Forums » Topic Forums » Life in Workforce Management » Bullying in the Workplace
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Bullying in the Workplace
posted at 4/26/2005 5:58 AM EDT
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Posts: 148
First: 9/30/2004 Last: 12/12/2008 |
In 30 years I've seen a lot and worked for some bullies. I believe that the best people to offer a workshop on this topic are psychotherapists because one needs a high level of sophistication and knowledge of psychology to discuss this issue in depth.
Many of the people who bully have some kind of personality or character disorder, something only a licensed therapist should discuss. My heart goes out to everyone who has been taken out by a bully. Take care of yourselves! Linda |
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Bullying in the Workplace
posted at 5/12/2005 3:33 AM EDT
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Posts: 5
First: 3/24/2004 Last: 4/25/2006 |
The main source of any bully is a lack of faith in people! Sure, it may be mental illness but I don't think it takes a doctor to diagnose them.
Bullies have a calculated plan. They play on your weaknesses & magnify their own strengths. I believed the person who bullied me. When I heard the office bullies say terrible & mean things to me, it hurt terribly. Now, I consider the source and brush off the insults! They survive because CEOs believe that the ends justify the means. I agree with MariaMc. You should protect yourself by keeping emails & notes. Bullies are terrible record keepers and will back off when confront with their own words and inconsistencies. |
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Bullying in the Workplace
posted at 5/16/2005 12:39 PM EDT
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Posts: 44
First: 2/17/2005 Last: 6/6/2006 |
I think it can be difficult to know when to define nasty behavior as bullying, and people need some explicit guidelines to help them identify when that line has been crossed. I had an experience where I was not treated well, and I'm still not sure if it would have qualified as bullying or not. The beahvior was very subtle, and sometimes I think it's just me that was too sensitive. My boss (director of HR) left and was replaced by someone with no management experience. At first she just seemed cold, emotionless and uncaring, which unfortunately aren't unusual behaviors in the corporate world. When she began to rip everything I had to say to shreds, I still just thought we had different, conflicting styles. Other people noticed that she treated me and another co-worker differently than the rest of the team - her tone of voice would get really mean and nasty and she would just shoot down everything we had to offer, even in staff meetings. When it came to handing out work assignments she would nicely ask the people she liked what they wanted to work on, and then she'd turn to me and in a very nasty, cold tone of voice dictate to me what I would work on. Some of the experiences characterized here as bullying are comparable to how I was treated, but I don't understand how to tell the difference between bullying, and using a mean critical tone of voice and shredding and rejecting someone else's ideas and efforts. Is that bullying? Does this really qualify as workplace violence? |
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Bullying in the Workplace
posted at 5/19/2005 9:12 PM EDT
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Posts: 46
First: 12/14/2004 Last: 8/8/2005 |
Yes that's only bullying as it's leading to mental ditress...but moreover, it sounds like there's something more to it than that...why would someone start bullying you without a reason? Have you been working there long and hence she feeels threatened by you? |
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Bullying in the Workplace
posted at 5/20/2005 2:04 AM EDT
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Posts: 6
First: 4/13/2002 Last: 5/24/2005 |
I also worked for an HR Director who had no management experience, no background experience in HR, and no formal education in the subject. She was promoted to this position because she would do exactly what the CEO wanted her to do. He was the biggest bully and the others began to adopt his behavior.
I would meet with her and try to provide support. Leave the meeting thinking that we were on track only to find that she would complain to others of how difficult it was to work with me. There was nothing I could do. Was it bullying - absolutely. I had no control, I tried using all my skills, and was still being cut out of conversations that affected my work. the CEO had the nerve to tell me that it was my job to make her a leader and if she didn't become one it was my fault. After having left the position and put a year away from the place I recognize exactly that this was bullying. The sad part - these people are still there, doing lots of destruction, and have turned a once vibrant organization into one in which people have gone underground and are frightened to open their mouths. So why aren't they removed? Because the council (this is a municipal government) don't have the strength or wherewithall to do anything. Meanwhile the citizens have now removed themselves from any type of work with the city. Go figure! |
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Bullying in the Workplace
posted at 5/23/2005 12:12 PM EDT
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Posts: 44
First: 2/17/2005 Last: 6/6/2006 |
Hey think81, it was a past job, I'm no longer there - came down with a stress-related illness and ended up being "laid off" after I told my boss one of my doctors said they might have to put me out on temporary disability. (and no, I didn't sue them, too sick to engage in a legal battle.) But just to answer your question, I'm not sure of her reasons, but the more I made it clear how unhappy I was with the nature of our relationship the more it happened. She may have felt threatened by the fact that I had 10 years of management experience where she had none. But I went out of my way to let her know that I was happy with my role and had no interest in her position, so hard to understand how she could have seen me as any real threat. These things get so tangled up - I felt attacked, so I got defensive, and then she'd get mad at me for being defensive - ugh. My experience with bullies and abusers is that if you let them do it to you and you let it affect you, they will keep doing it. Not saying it was totally my fault, but I didn't do a very good job of standing up for myself, either. Anyway, my health is back to normal now, I learned a few things and made some good changes to my life, so maybe if this ever happens again I will know how to better handle it. But let's hope it never does! |
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Bullying in the Workplace
posted at 5/24/2005 2:08 AM EDT
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Posts: 6
First: 4/13/2002 Last: 5/24/2005 |
I have beat myself up over the last year in thinking I should have stood up for myself more. I am a fairly assertive person, except when it comes to sticking up for myself. I dislike conflict and really try to work in an environment in which people care for each other and try to get along. However, in retrospect, I see it wouldn't have mattered, if I had been more assertive - I likely would have been released a lot earlier. It was when I began to question the behaviors that they became much more aggressive in looking for a way to get rid of me. I became a threat because they knew I recognized their behavior as inappropriate.
The interesting thing about all this the CEO is now going around town saying "he knew that I would be much better off away from this place!" He is trying to right his behavior by now saying it was for "my own good." Iheard him say this many times while I was working that there were people he had released from employment and they later thanked him. Now it becomes even clearer that this guy has bullied many times before and has always made it appear in his own mind that he was doing us all a favor. |
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Bullying in the Workplace
posted at 5/24/2005 9:49 AM EDT
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Posts: 44
First: 2/17/2005 Last: 6/6/2006 |
Allora, I can identify with everything you've said in this thread! Interestingly, I don't think this desire to retroactively justify the actions of the bully as being "for our own good" is limited to the bully. I've recently re-connected with some colleagues from that job who saw this happen to me, and every single one of them has said something like "well you did learn from this and make some good changes". Like somehow that makes it all OK - why can't we all just admit that it was unjustified and not OK? I just don't believe that one must ignore the negative in order to affirm the positive - let's acknowledge the whole truth, warts and all - my mama didn't raise no ostrich! |
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Bullying in the Workplace
posted at 5/17/2008 1:27 PM EDT
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Posts: 3
First: 5/17/2008 Last: 5/17/2008 |
Yes, I agree that a psychotherapist would be a good source. All my therapist friends deal daily with kids and adults who are bullied. Getting them to stand up for themselves and not take it on is the major problem. A training where the signs of bullying, the reasons people bully and behaviors that the employee can employ to deal with it would be very valuable. Also some information about that the gov't considers it workplace violence. Bullying is a horrible problem in our schools and those folks just bring it with them to the workplace sometimes. |
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Bullying in the Workplace
posted at 8/12/2008 7:29 AM EDT
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Posts: 6
First: 8/12/2008 Last: 9/6/2011 |
I am currently completing my Master's Thesis on the "Business Impact of Bullying in the Workplace". Part of the process is interviewing individuals that have been recipients of bullying behavior. If you would like to participate in my research please send me an e-mail at roycronk@roadrunner.com |
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